Make Success Personal

March 26, 2012 By Leave a Comment
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Road To SuccessMake success personal. Define success to be what you want. Determine what it is for you in particular. It is different for each of us. The pressure to conform to other people’s and society’s few and narrow definitions  of success is profound. That’s probably why there are so many unhappy “successful” people. If more people would take the time and effort to make success personal, there would be more satisfied people in the world.

Our society, by way of the media, defines success very narrowly. It primarily involves the acquisition of money, things, power, and celebrity. Many people are also pressured by parents, teachers, mentors, and peers to conform to a common list of accomplishments that fall into their shared definition of success.

The problem with this is that each of us is different from everyone else in many ways. So a narrow definition of success is very limiting. We all have different dreams, potential, and purpose. If we were all able to follow our hearts and discover the things we do best and make us happiest, our society would would likely have lower levels of depression and higher levels of creativity in all fields.

Personal Success

This definition of success from my ADHD blog is much more personalized and, I believe, ultimately far more satisfying. Magical things happen when a person follows their heart and chooses their own path. They are able to achieve amazing things. But most important, they are happier. And society (that’s all of us) is better off. Would you rather entrust your health to a doctor who loves what he or she does and truly resonates with the care of others OR would you rather have a doctor who became one just to satisfy his or parents and to make a good living? I have experienced both types of doctors and the difference is huge. The same goes for all fields. Whenever I interview someone for a job, whether at a company or to perform work on my home, I ask them what they like about their field and the prospective job in particular. And then I listen. I listen for an answer that expresses passion for the work that is intrinsic in nature. I am far more likely to hire a person or use their services if they love what they do and what they are doing for me is part of their strategy for personal success. These people always do a great job.

It takes courage to buck the trend and look past what people in your life and society say success should be for you. But if you can manage to do this and forge your own way, you will be more likely to find happiness that is not tied to so many things out of your control. This is why make success personal is a tenet of Jar the Ground.

There is much more to the concept that we should make success personal. If you would like to learn more contact me  here. If you would like to schedule a Jar The Ground talk for your organization feel free to contact me via the “Book a Speaking Engagement” menu bar link above.

 

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Every Day is New, Jar The Ground Tenet

March 13, 2012 By Leave a Comment
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Start of a New DayEvery day is new. It really is a simple concept; one that has been around for a while. The “Today is the first day of the rest of your life” concept is quite similar. I find that this is the key to moving forward through life as unencumbered as possible. Mastering the every day is new tenet enables forgiveness, renewal, forward thinking, and other very powerful qualities to become regular parts of your life.

Most people carry a lot of emotional and mental baggage around with them. You might begrudge the person at work who did not praise your presentation or who snagged the promotion you were eyeing. Or you might wake up still peeved about a ding you found on your new car the day before. Or perhaps you are worried by a troubling medical test result. No matter how serious or trivial these things may be to others or you, for you they may be taking away valuable mental and emotional resources.

We all have things that worry us. But the trick is to realize that carrying those worries and irritations with us day after day, playing them over and over in our minds, does not allow us to move forward. The only way to move forward in life is to look back  ONLY as a way of learning from mistakes or planning for the future. Wishing things turned out different or perseverating about things that are past only serves to hold us back. I can’t count the number of times people have asked me “Why?” this or that happened to them or their loved one? Many times there is no “why” and searching for one does not fix the situation. Check out this story.

When we consider every day as new we can let go of things from the past and leave them there, figuratively and literally. If you were holding a grudge against a friend you will find that the new day can more easily bring forgiveness. If you were upset about a mistake you made, both self-forgiveness as well as the opportunity to either fix the mistake and/or move on with a lesson learned are within your grasp.

Why use the beginning of the day? When we sleep, our minds rest and there is evidence from many sources that we are able to solve problems in our sleep. We are also able to close our eyes on the things that worry and weigh on us (if we can train ourselves to let go – there is always the bad night’s sleep due to over stress.) For most people  waking from a good night’s rest does bring a brief sense of a fresh start. The trick is to retain that feeling and NOT banish it with worrying or negative thoughts over what is already done and in the past.

There is much more to the concept that every day is new. If you would like to learn more contact me  here. If you would like to schedule a Jar The Ground talk for your organization feel free to contact me via the “Book a Speaking Engagement” menu bar link above.

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Overcome Morning Depression

September 1, 2011 By Leave a Comment
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We all have days when we wake up sad or blue or just feeling “blah.”  It can be as minor as  lack of energy or as serious as being so depressed that you just want to pull the covers up and stay in bed forever, which can be one of the signs of clinical depression. You may or may not know why you are blue. One thing is certain, you have to get up and fight these feelings. You need to “jar the ground” with your determination to move forward and overcome morning depression. Here is a possible way to overcome depression without medication.

First, if something in particular is bothering you do your best to stop thinking about it and think about a physical activity you can do. This activity does not have to be intense exercise, just something physical you are capable of doing that will raise your heart rate a little, get you sweating and help you focus on something neutral.

Second you have to really force yourself (and this can be the hardest part for many people) to just get up. Get up no matter how bad you feel, no matter if it hurts a little (unless your doctor has told you not to move when you hurt in a certain way.) It is as easy AND as hard at just that. Getting out of bed. It helps if you bound out of bed and hit the floor with determination. Sometimes I turn that sadness into a little anger at the situation and that helps me to kick start the process.

Finally you need to get dressed (if need be) and do that activity. Do it mindlessly, just concentrating on each step on the treadmill or each pump of the bicycle peddle. If you have to think of something, imagine your sweat as the sadness streaming away or the thump of your feet on the treadmill jarring your tension, breaking it up so you can relax.

Why bother? Because first, you will be out of bed and starting your day. Second, the body releases endorphins (happy hormones) when we do physical exercise and this helps to combat sadness.

I know this won’t be easy for many of you. Sometimes it is very hard for me. Just a few days ago I woke up feeling down about something and sleepy. It took every ounce of determination I could muster to sit up, swing my feet to the floor with a bang, and head to the pool to do 20 laps. It was hard at first to just focus on the bubbles I made in the water, but I imagined those bubbles were my weakness and weight of sadness streaming off me and floating away. After my workout I was able to continue with my day a step at a time.

Try this next time you wake up on the wrong side of the bed. I know the first step will be the hardest, but I promise you each step after will get easier.

I welcome readers to share their methods for jarring the ground to get past the morning blues.

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