Give Back: The Most Critical Jar The Ground Tenet

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Give Back

This is Easy To Do

This is Easy To Do

Give back. Possibly the most important tenet of Jar The Ground. Help others when you can, however you can. Give back by helping others overcome challenges similar to the ones you have faced or are facing. That way your experience is put to good use and there is one less person struggling for an answer you already found. Give back by making another person’s day, week, life a little less painful. This moves society forward.

 

What Are You Really Doing When You Give Back?

“Give back” suggests that you have received something that you should return or pay back. And in a way that is likely the case. If you are like me, many people have helped you along the way. You’ve been supported in many a success by individuals seen and unseen. The college admissions person you never met, and who decided to give you a chance. Or perhaps it comes in the form of the person working 3 jobs who keeps your office clean so you can start each morning fresh and uncluttered. Things get done all around us that affect us in positive ways. Often we never have a chance to thank these people who grace our lives with presence in the world.

I really like the notion of paying it forward. This concept is based on the assumption that doing so spreads a selfless caring and further enriches the social networks that connect us. In addition, it often makes more sense to help out a different person than the one who helped you since you are more likely to be helping someone truly in need.

How Everyone Can Do This

Service with a Smile

Just Saying Thank You Can Make A Person's Day!

And you don’t need to give a million dollars to charity or build a homeless shelter. It can be as simple as a smile and a thank you. I was in the grocery store recently and the gentleman in front of me said hi to the checker and then asked how her day was going. He commiserated with her about the long hours while she went about her work. At the end of the transaction he looked her in the eye and thanked her and told her he hoped her day would go by fast. When she started scanning my items she was beaming. I asked her if she knew that man. She said no, not really, but that he was always so nice. When I asked why she was smiling she said, “I know it sounds crazy, but I feel better after seeing him. You know how many people actually express concern for a check out clerk, or smile, or even say thank you like they mean it? Let me tell you, almost no one…” It turns out that woman has gone entire days at work without ernest appreciation. That’s something anyone can easily remedy.

Take a real interest in a person you interact with (but don’t really see) at least once a week or so. Starting with simple acts like that will make you more enriched, because you are enriching the life of another person.

Giving back is critical to the entire Jar The Ground process. It brings the process and your success full circle.

There is much more to the concept that you should give back. If you would like to learn more contact me  here. If you would like to schedule a Jar The Ground talk for your organization feel free to contact me via the “Book a Speaking Engagement” menu bar link above.

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Every Day is New, Jar The Ground Tenet

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Start of a New DayEvery day is new. It really is a simple concept; one that has been around for a while. The “Today is the first day of the rest of your life” concept is quite similar. I find that this is the key to moving forward through life as unencumbered as possible. Mastering the every day is new tenet enables forgiveness, renewal, forward thinking, and other very powerful qualities to become regular parts of your life.

Most people carry a lot of emotional and mental baggage around with them. You might begrudge the person at work who did not praise your presentation or who snagged the promotion you were eyeing. Or you might wake up still peeved about a ding you found on your new car the day before. Or perhaps you are worried by a troubling medical test result. No matter how serious or trivial these things may be to others or you, for you they may be taking away valuable mental and emotional resources.

We all have things that worry us. But the trick is to realize that carrying those worries and irritations with us day after day, playing them over and over in our minds, does not allow us to move forward. The only way to move forward in life is to look back  ONLY as a way of learning from mistakes or planning for the future. Wishing things turned out different or perseverating about things that are past only serves to hold us back. I can’t count the number of times people have asked me “Why?” this or that happened to them or their loved one? Many times there is no “why” and searching for one does not fix the situation. Check out this story.

When we consider every day as new we can let go of things from the past and leave them there, figuratively and literally. If you were holding a grudge against a friend you will find that the new day can more easily bring forgiveness. If you were upset about a mistake you made, both self-forgiveness as well as the opportunity to either fix the mistake and/or move on with a lesson learned are within your grasp.

Why use the beginning of the day? When we sleep, our minds rest and there is evidence from many sources that we are able to solve problems in our sleep. We are also able to close our eyes on the things that worry and weigh on us (if we can train ourselves to let go – there is always the bad night’s sleep due to over stress.) For most people  waking from a good night’s rest does bring a brief sense of a fresh start. The trick is to retain that feeling and NOT banish it with worrying or negative thoughts over what is already done and in the past.

There is much more to the concept that every day is new. If you would like to learn more contact me  here. If you would like to schedule a Jar The Ground talk for your organization feel free to contact me via the “Book a Speaking Engagement” menu bar link above.

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Hearing From an Old Friend

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Hearing From an Old FriendToday I got an unexpected call from someone I had not heard from in 9 years.  Russell Wilkie is someone I worked with on a project involving personality driven relationship advice. He is a Marriage and Family Therapist and an all around good guy. All those years ago we also worked together on an article for his web site. He was recently making some changes and wanted to make sure he had the spelling of my last name correct. We spoke for about 30 minutes and it was a great pleasure to reconnect. This made my day. Russell even gave me the contact information for another old friend we have in common.

It seems to me that hearing from people after time has passed must feel good for a reason. I think that knowing that there are people out in the world who remember us and still turn to us, either for aid or to just say hello, keeps us connected to our personal history. Certainly social networks facilitate such moments of re-aquantance. The feeling is similar. We are reminded that our part in the world is bigger than we thought. We remember another person who (no matter how big or small a part played) is a character in the story of our life.

It also occurs to me that this is a great way to make another person’s day. I conducted a brief survey of a few friends. Everyone (introverted and extroverted) admitted being excited silly when contacted unexpectedly by a friend from the past. Given how restorative this can be, there is something to be said for the other side of the coin.

By contacting a friend you have not interacted with in a while, you could make their day (or at least brighten it.) And in my experience the act of checking up on a friend or family member feels pretty good also. This is a simple way to give back per the Jar The Ground tenets.

So, my request to you is that you think of someone you can contact today; someone who has not heard from you in a while and who would be excited, consoled, comforted to hear your voice or see your name in their email box. Then contact them. Don’t put it off. Make time to do this today.

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Silence Your Negative Voice

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Working BrainThere is a voice that we all have. It is that inner voice . Our stream of consciousness. It can be negative about the things we dream, about the intent of others, and a myriad of other aspects
of our lives. To silence that negative voice opens new doors and enables limitless possibility to enter our lives. To stop dwelling on the negative allows all the positives in our lives to surface. All you must do is silence the negative aspects of your stream of consciousness.

We all think to ourselves with an inner voice. Most of us are in constant dialogue with ourselves. It is only natural, as we use spoken word to communicate with others. Language is deeply rooted in our psyche and so, when we think, we think in words. As I type this I can hear the words in my head. Much of Buddhist philosophy (especially Zen) and spiritual practice is an attempt to silence our inner voice and quiet our mind. This is exceedingly hard and takes years of zazen, or sitting practice.

One thing that can help us all, and which can be easier to do (though it is still hard, starting out), is to monitor what we are thinking. To pay attention to the demeanor of the messages we are giving ourselves. When a negative message or thought enters your mind observe it and if to makes sense consciously reject it and try to stop thinking that thought.

For instance: if you had a bad day at work (and we all do) you may find yourself thinking about how you hate some person at work or you dislike the entire company or group you are in. This can circle around and around in your mind till you are irate and depressed. Stop that cycle. If you give your mind a break and think about things that make you happy, you will feel better. You will have more energy and be able to make forward progress in whatever you do. It can be anything that bothers you. Try your best to stop thinking about it in a negative light and it will be easier to let go of it.

I know a number of people who work hard to stay positive this way. I also know others who allow their negative, sometimes frightening thoughts to rule their lives. The differences between these two groups are stark. The positive thinkers and thought monitors are happier, healthier and more content. The people who think those negative thoughts constantly are worried, haggard, and many times more susceptible to cold and flues.

The power of positive thinking, does work. But it is not always easy and it is not a matter of just being blindly positive. It is more about refusing to dwell on the negative; about choosing to silence certain thoughts. We all have negatives in our lives. But if you can refocus your mind and inner talk on the positives, life will be better.

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Waking up in a Funk

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Waking Up In A FunkSome days it is harder to Jar The Ground than other days. We all have experiences like this. You may wake up in a funk; with a mind set that is tainted from the moment your eyes open. This happened to me just a couple days ago and that urge to just sleep in (really, brood in) was strong.

I woke up in a funk after having a dream about my brother, who passed away five years ago. I could not remember the exact details of the dream, but I dream about my brother regularly. It is part of having unexpectedly lost my only sibling, who I was very close to. Occasionally these dreams can even make me agitated and fearful. This is not often, but when this happens the dreams bring on a wave of grief that is reminiscent of the first year after my brother died.

Many people awaken more than a little bummed they have to go to work, start some task they dread, have to deal with confrontation with a friend, loved one, or coworker, etc. We all encounter this morning funk at some time. The activity below can help with that funk and other things that get in the way of your efforts to Jar The Ground.

In order the deal with this and get moving, I find it helps:

  • To write about what I am feeling in my journal and get those emotions out and acknowledge they are there. Writing can be very cathartic and helps to relieve some of the stress and feelings of powerlessness. Also, I am DOING SOMETHING, which is better than lying in bed staring into space or the alarm clock.
  • To think of one item from my to-do list and focus in figuring out what it will take to get all or part of it done before the end of the day or an earlier deadline if needed. As an example: if I need to clean the garage, I write up a list of the various things that need to be done and pick a reasonable set of items that I can accomplish in the allotted time for the  project for this day. If I have a work item that has to be finished: I look at the smaller pieces that need to be accomplished. I make a check list. Feeling organized helps A LOT!

After I have accomplished the writing (about 10 minutes) and have made progress toward a goal, I usually feel better knowing I took control of the situation.
Not everyday will be the same. Some days it will be more difficult for you to Jar The Ground, The point is that when you are in a funk you try and overcome the demotivating mindset and continue to work toward progress. This feeling of doing better in the face of upset, worry, stress and sadness is a huge part of the Jar The Ground philosophy. Make forward progress every day that it is possible, no matter how little or insignificant that progress seems at the time.

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Note Taking with an Idea Notebook

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You may ask what note taking is and what does it have to do with motivation? Well it has a lot to do with motivation, in that we all have ideas and thoughts, that when not written down are often forgotten. We also need to be reminded at times what we need to do. To-do lists help focus us on the tasks at hand and to prioritize. I also suggest to you that notetaking software is not the answer for many people.  Certainly not for me, and I am a total techno geek, gadget freak. I find that a pad of paper is my most effective tool in this area. So, I have three things to share with you: what is note taking,  my thoughts on notetaking software, and why I use a pad of paper.

Note Taking

(Really, what do I mean by note taking?) This is not the boring note taking we all associate with school. It is also not like keeping a journal where you write your thoughts and feelings down once a day (not to say that is a bad thing – it can in fact be VERY helpful to people.) Rather, I am talking about having a way to record ideas as they come to you. When you are walking down the street or first wake up in the morning or while riding in the car (as a passenger), any time. This way you forget nothing (unless you have a photographic memory) and can refer back to your brief notes on your idea, break through, or whatever came to mind while you were too busy with something else.

Notetaking Software

OK, I personally do not think that notetaking software is the way to go. It means that you need to have your device with you all the time and charged. Fine I can probably make that happen. More importantly, Ijust find it difficult to get my ideas down quickly while fumbling with a phone, trying to find the app, typing on the tiny keyboard, etc.  It just does not do it for me. I have tried quite a few products. If you want to go this route here is a link to the best site I found for reviewing those notetaking software products.

Pad of Paper

OK the pad of paper (notebook) is my favorite. But this is just my personal preference. I can take it anywhere. It is easy to whip out and jot some notes down QUICKLY. And it is easy to flip through pages to find recent notes. I favor the moleskin notebooks. They tend to be a little more expensive, but they also last a long time, are small, and are flexible. They seem to be just the correct size, not too conspicuous or heavy. When I was a grad student and poor, I did use composition note books, you know, the ones with the black and white speckles. I think that Richard Branson used these when he was running Virgin Records.

Taking Notes in a notebookWhere can you keep your pad of paper? Well, if you are a woman with a purse…in your purse. If you are a man (without a man purse) or a woman without a purse…I keep it tucked under my shirt and held in place with my pants. Most people don’t see it there. You can also carry the notebook in the open. Some people think this makes you look like a geek (in a negative way). I don’t tend to hang out those people or listen to them much.

So, take your choice. But get into the habit of writing down  in your note taking device any idea or thing you see or hear that is important to you. Finally, you need to review those notes every day to ensure you take action on the things you noted. This will help enormously in your efforts to Jar the Ground every day!

If you have other ideas or suggestions, please post a comment.

 

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Increase Energy and Self Motivation with Music

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Increase Energy

Music makes us happySo, you are feeling blah or just lacking in energy. No matter what you are doing you can use music to increase energy as well as your self motivation. We are told by scientists that music can make us feel better and it can even increase energy we have and get us moving. Music makes us happy and when it comes to self motivation there is an aspect to an upbeat song that makes many people want to get up and do something. Whether that something be physical activity or even work, you can improve your chances of getting things done by using music to warm you up and guide you along the way.

Self Motivation

I listen to upbeat tunes when driving or cleaning house or even on a walk or exercise. It helps me to dispel that feeling of being disconnected and increases my self motivation to focus on what I want to do next and visualize positive outcomes. It increases my energy levels so I start new tasks with vigor. What music you decide to listen to really depends on what you like. Pick  songs that make you feel good and encouraged. Songs with more pep and positive lyrics are going to lift your spirits and get you moving (even involuntarily -  like tapping your foot to the beat.)

Try a different genre. And don’t discount the power of classical. I am a country fan for the most part, but I listen to a couple Beethoven and Mozart pieces that practically make me feel invincible. So be open to the posibility that something you don’t normally listen to might get you going.

So, next time you are sitting or lying around and need to Jar the Ground, listen to some tunes that you can’t help moving to, that make you feel unstoppable. If music works for you, please share a comment about how music helps you Jar the Ground in your life.

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